


Jade Dies at the End

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, F/F, Ghost Sex, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 06:00:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4252062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dead? What do you mean I'm dead?" Jade was slowly realizing that she was definitely doing fine in the breathing department despite being however many feet underwater. Or she wasn't breathing at all and doing fine. Either way, it was fucked up but physiologically she was fine with it. Or she wasn't even physio—</p>
<p>"Holy squid, you really are dumb. Were you not there? You were standing on this... weird plank." Some wild arm movements to try and represent measurements. "Then you weren't. And you hit a rock. With your face."</p>
<p>"That was a dream!" Of course! Jade had a eureka moment. "This is a dream! Oh my god, I'm lucid dreaming now! This is all fake!" Jade let out a cheer and began to swim upward.</p>
<p>"Hey! Hey! Nope! Reality! Turtley real! Where are you going? Do you wanna see the sharks eat your corpse? I was gonna check that out! But it's probubbly this way! By the rocks! Where you busted your head open!" She groaned. Humans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jade Dies at the End

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tanglelore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanglelore/gifts).



Jade Harley. Robotics expert. Jade Harley. Master gardener. Jade Harley. Astrophysics wunderkind. Jungle explorer. She'd really done it all. At least all she could do on her isolated island home. Well. Almost all. She had one last world to conquer, and that was the world of surfing. She was going to ride the wave and hang all manner of tens and maybe do something regarding ohana.

Truth be told, all Jade knew about surfing came from watching Lilo & Stitch on Netflix. Jade had a history of trying things she had seen in Disney movies, but at least this one was more realistic and doable than grinding around on vines or climbing her tower to tie a bunch of balloons. It was a wonder she hadn't died before now!

After all, it was just standing on a board and letting water carry her around. Literally how hard could it be? She paddled out and found her—albeit shaky—footing as a wave came in. She was in the... tube? That sounded right. It was tubular! She was riding the hell out of this wave. Until her foot slipped. Then her second foot. And she was falling fast toward a particularly mean-looking rock.

\---

Jade's eyes opened with a jolt and oh thank god it was just a dream! Except she... wait... was that coral? Was she... oh god she was underwater! Oh god she couldn't breathe! Shit shit shit she was drowning! She was as good as dead and what was that?!

Coming toward her at a decent pace was... something. Something shark gray. Wreathed by inky blackness with only a hint of two cruel horns hidden within. With a grin of terrible malicious teeth.

Jade gaped and gasped and flailed and kicked up off of the sand as the thing—the monster—grabbed her, each finger tipped in a harsh black talon. Those jaws open and shut as Jade kept screaming and flailing. Those hands gripped her shoulders and shook her and Jade realized... it was speaking.

"Clam down, you squidiot! Oh my gods, stop!" A hand moved from Jade's shoulder to clamp over her mouth, muffling the scream. Fear filled Jade's eyes, but confusion was starting to creep in. For a moment, she stopped flailing even, staring at this creature who, honestly, looked pretty humanoid now that she wasn't having a full fledged freakout.

Still gray and sharklike though. And full of sharp teeth. And she had those weird little face fins near her cheeks? Like an axolotl but not as endearing. And big orange eyes with a ring of pink around her pupils. And gills. Gills! Jade was suddenly aware once more that she was fucking drowning! And full fledged freakout part two was a go.

The deep-sea creature rolled her eyes and huffed. "Oh my cod! Stop it! You're dead!"

Jade was even more alarmed at the sudden threat, trying to tear the hand off her mouth, the monster clearly trying to keep her from... breathing?

"Ugh! You're so stupid! You're alraydy dead! Dead! Deceased! Crossed over! Shark food!" She burst out laughing at that last one. "Oh, wow, probubbly literally."

There was that confusion again. Jade managed to free herself from the creature's shaky grasp as she had a laugh attack. "Dead?" She spoke!

"She speaks!" The creature wheezed as she caught her breath, gills fluttering.

"Dead? What do you mean I'm dead?" Jade was slowly realizing that she was definitely doing fine in the breathing department despite being however many feet underwater. Or she wasn't breathing at all and doing fine. Either way, it was fucked up but physiologically she was fine with it. Or she wasn't even physio—

"Holy squid, you really are dumb. Were you not there? You were standing on this... weird plank." Some wild arm movements to try and represent measurements. "Then you weren't. And you hit a rock. With your face."

"That was a dream!" Of course! Jade had a eureka moment. "This is a dream! Oh my god, I'm lucid dreaming now! This is all fake!" Jade let out a cheer and began to swim upward.

"Hey! Hey! Nope! Reality! Turtley real! Where are you going? Do you wanna see the sharks eat your corpse? I was gonna check that out! But it's probubbly this way! By the rocks! Where you busted your head open!" She groaned. Humans.

Jade showed absolutely no signs of stopping and soon the creature was in front of her again. "Are there any ways to test if a human is dreaming? You should definitely do one. Because you're not."

"Well. Books don't work right. Or street signs."

The creature stared at her. "And those kelp us how exactly?"

"Oh, right! Duhhh. Oh, well. You don't usually feel pain in dreams, or at least I d—ow! Hey!" She was definitely not expecting the slap. The creature looked proud of herself.

"Was that an ow? Did that hurt?"

"Yes it fucking hurt! You slapped me in the—ohhh. Oh. So then. I'm..."

"Dead."

"Then..." Jade furrowed her brow, trying to put the pieces of this shitty morbid puzzle together. "Why am I still here?"

"I dunno."

"Shouldn't I be in, like, Heaven? Or... maybe Hell? Is Limbo a thing still? Is this Limbo?"

The gray-skinned one shrugged. "I. Don't. Know. How should I know? Do I look like a death god? Or some tour guide to the afterreef?" She gave Jade a look that so clearly illustrated the folllwup rhetorical question of "Do I?"

"Yes? I don't know! I don't know what those fucking look like! You're a big weird scary monster thing? So it's entirely possible!" Jade was steamed and flailing her arms in frustration. It was pretty cute.

"I'm not even big! But yeah. Not even the right pantheon. Cod, you're thick. I'm a conchsort. Or emissaray, I guess. For That Which Slumbers in the Depths. Praise Gl'bgolyb and Await the Great Ebb. Oh! I guess I could take you to Them and let your spirit become one with Their essence! Then everyone wins! Let's do that!" The toothy grin was unnerving.

"Let's not? Let's not do that ever! Look, uh, emissary." Jade fumbled. "Do you have a name?"

"I was given one and the true pronunciation of it would drive you mad."

"Do you have anything I can call you then?"

"Feferi works!" The grin did not get any better.

"Look. Feferi. I'm dead, I guess. But I'm still here in the ocean."

"Nnnnooooo... different ocean! How can you not even realize that? Well. Same ocean. Different dimension. Half-dimension, reelly. You're in between."

"Is that... normal?"

Feferi huffed. Really? This again? "I don't know! Why are you not getting that? Probubbly not? It's because of me, I'm sure. I was obsurfing you doing the balancing thing, and I guess when your shoal left your body, it got stuck. Oops!"

"Oops? I'm stuck here in some tentacle monster's pocket dimension because some rude-assed shark girl decides to watch me die and I get an oops? An oops?"

"My bad? Wait! Shark girl? Ugh! I was going to watch you get eaten! That is the best part and I turtley missed it because you just had to go on your little 'oh look at me I'm lucid dreaming' kick! So thanks for that, by the way!"

"No way in hell am I going to apologize for you not getting to watch my body get ripped apart by sharks! What the fuck?"

"Who cares?" Feferi began to float through the water, lazily circling Jade. "Not like you were using it. Baysides. You look delicious." She lunged toward Jade and gave a painful, albeit playful, bite to her shoulder.

"Ow! What the hell is your problem?" With a fluid motion, Jade spun around and grabbed Feferi's arm. The gray skin felt rough but also rubbery, like sandpaper wrapped around an innertube. Insulation from the cold of the depths plus whatever it was that made sharks feel rough? Jade thought it had to do with hydrodynamics but she wasn't sure. Either way, she was bringing that arm up to her mouth.

"Oh, please! Water you even going to do with those sprawny little human nibblers? You'd do just as well gumming—ow! Shit!" The bite hurt, despite Jade's mostly blunt teeth. "Basshole!"

"You're the basshole, asshole!" Jade shoved Feferi, which didn't really do much because they were underwater. "I'm... you're... you!" The frustrated grunting shout that escaped Jade's mouth was more animal than human. "You're so awful! You watch me die, you accidentally keep me from moving on apparently, you are just... wow... so excited to watch sharks! Fucking sharks! Eat my corpse! Which I'm still not dealing with very well, the fact that I am or was a corpse somewhere! Because I have friends who are going to wonder what happened to me but I live alone on a big shitty tropical paradise because it's all I know and the mainland is a big scary place and—" Jade finally took a breath. "—that's even worse than just being on my own. But because I'm on my own, who knows when anyone will know what happened to me! Because sharks ate my goddamn corpse! Are you gonna tell them? Of course not! Because you're the Silver Surfer to some sleepy tentacle monster version of Galactus or whatever but—what do you even do all day anyway? How long have you had this job? Who cares! Either way, I have had a very rough couple of hours but somehow you're the one acting inconvenienced and I'm—me!—I'm the basshole! And fuck your weird shitty fish puns! Get a hobby!" Jade flopped down onto the underwater sand and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Feferi was stunned. Which was a pretty impressive state for an emissary to a dark godmonster from beyond time and space itself to be in. But there she was. Slackjawed and... well, mostly slackjawed. "Okay. So. Maybe I can kelp. Help. I can help. You know, for you to move on."

"Really?" Jade looked skeptical, in between bouts of trying to catch her breath, which was probably unnecessary for someone who no longer required a respiratory system, but whatever.

"Yeah. Totally. I have connections. Being a consort and all. I don't like to rub it in anyone's face but I am a pretty big deal." Feferi buffed her talons a bit. "See, I'm a collector. I collect things." She motioned at herself.

Jade had never really noticed before, considering her perception went from being terrified of an inhuman sharkfaced sea demon to poorly coping with her current ordeal with death, but Feferi was a fashion disaster.

Bodywise, she looked quick and dangerous but still with a good deal of fat to protect her from cold. Big hips and a bewildering chest. That is to say that there was no way Feferi was a mammal but she still had breasts. This was in stark contrast to Jade herself. Small and well-toned. A life of running and exploring but also gardening and science. Her skin was brown and made even darker from time in the sun.

Of course, Feferi's body wasn't what made her a fashion disaster. It was everything else. Her arms were covered in bracelets and bangles, made of everything from jelly-like rubber to hemp and beads to ornate and gorgeous gold. She had necklaces that ran a similar spectrum, from friendship lockets to silver crosses. She had on a black one-piece covering a somewhat thick body and a translucent wrap skirt over that. She was barefoot save for a cheap toe ring. And to finish the ensemble, a pair of pink plastic goggles that looked like they came from a dollar store.

"I collect tributes. All of these floated into Their domain, and so mine too! So, if you pay tribute to me as well... we can work out something!" Feferi was giving that trademarked shark grin.

"To go along with your... lost items that floated out to sea. Got it. What do you want?" Jade honestly did not have much to offer. All she had on was a bright green two-piece, covered in a pattern of tiny Squiddles. And her glasses of course.

Feferi tapped her chin, looking Jade over, as if this was... well... someone trying to decide what they wanted from a fast food menu. But the menu only had three items, so honestly, what was taking them so long? "Those." She pointed at the bikini bottoms.

Of course she pointed at the bottoms. Of course. Because that is what Jade wanted to do. Arrive in the afterlife with her ass out. "Seriously?"

"Seariously."

Jade could tell that was a pun even though for all intents and purposes it should be pronounced exactly the same. But it wasn't. There was emphasis on the sea. It was slight but it was there. She was not only making Jade take off the worst of three choices, she was punning again. She huffed. "Fine." She slipped the sides down and rolled her eyes as she stepped out of them, picking them up in her hand. She almost covered up. Almost. But she was dead and Feferi was a weird monster, so honestly who even gave a fuck?

"Whoa!" Jade should have covered up. Feferi had that surprised look again. "What the glub is that?" She was pointing. Pointing! Right at Jade's crotch. At the thick, wide triangle of dark hair above her sex. She swam around, Jade now covering up, and laughed. "Nice ass. Wow. I made the best choice."

"What? What do you mean what is it? It's... you know what it is!" Jade scowled.

"No! Never! I've never seen you up close and personal! There's hair. And. Yes this is all new to me! I'm so excited!"

"Can you just take these?" Jade thrust the balled up bikini bottoms at Feferi.

"What? Pff. No! Squidiot. How can I take them? You're a ghost. Like. You yourself are tangible but your clothes are just a projection. Your real clothes are shark napkins! I got you good! Oh cod, you should see your face!"

Jade was livid. But that level of lividity where it doesn't even show. That silent, flabbergasted anger. Both hands fell to her sides.

"That's what happens! That's what you get for downplaying my role as conchsort! Oh, oh wow." Feferi sat down on a rock.

"So. I'm stuck here then. With you. For the forseeable future. Probably longer. Eternity? Or until my atoms are all just completely recycled? Eons?"

Feferi shrugged and tried to calm down from laughing. The last thing that disrespected her ended up as food for her immortal liege. So, Jade should really consider herself lucky. Compared to that humpback anyway. "Probubbly."

Jade sat down on another rock. She let go of the bottoms and they just kind of... were nothing. Thinking about them brought them back, and thinking about them in her hand transported them there once more. Thinking about them red, or thinking about a full t-shirt instead of a bikini... those didn't do anything. But ghost mechanics were distracting Jade from the matter at hand. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine. This is fine. Fuck it. It is what it is. C'est la vie."

"La vie?"

"No... it means. Well. I don't know. I don't know French. But people say it when things are what they are."

"Oh." Feferi blinked. Jade was taking this scarily well.

"So let me see." Jade stared pointedly at Feferi.

"See... what? See la vie?"

"It's c'est! And no! See you. You saw me, and that was such a big deal, so I want to see what the big deal is from my end! I'm guessing no hair, but beyond that I have no clue! So come on. I'm stuck here, and you're stuck with me, so let's see it!"

"What? That's reelly dumb. Like, it makos no sense. Why do you even want to see it?" Feferi frowned a bit, trying to figure this ghost out. Was she looking for a weakness? A vulnerability? Seeking to mock her again?

"Curiosity. Plus you tricked me into stripping, so it's only fair. If you don't want to, though, whatever." Jade shrugged.

Feferi wished she had brought her trident. Just in case this was a trick. Assuming it would work on ghosts. But really... what was the harm? "Yeah. Okay. I guess this would be a pretty big honor from your perspective." Feferi loosened her wrap skirt and tucked the edge under the rock she sat atop. She learned her lesson after losing a particularly neat snorkel a few passages of time ago.

"Not really."

Feferi paused, then scowled. "Oh, you'll be honored. You betta be." She slipped the one piece's straps off her shoulders and pulled the form fitting garment down her body. Her bust was larger when not compressed, and Jade wondered if they regulated buoyancy. Feferi had weird evenly placed scarring on the sides of her torso and abdomen. Where was this creature from? Truly from the deep? Beyond the stars? Another realm entirely? Were there more? Were there more here? They were tough and scary and looked built to maim, to kill, to destroy. Even Feferi's softness was rough, and where she wasn't soft, Jade just saw things that could rip and tear. Teeth, claws, wit. This would be the discovery of the century if not f—what the fuck was that?

"What the fuck is that?" Jade blurted out. Between Feferi's legs was more smooth gray skin, with what she could only describe as a vertical slit, with just a hint of the same pink as Feferi's irises, if not a bit darker, peeking out from inside. Speaking of peeking, from the top of the slit, something poked out. A pink protrusion, small and wiggling. It reminded Jade of an anemone. She dropped the bottoms she had honestly forgot she had not been wearing and moved closer to Feferi.

Who immediately took a defensive stance, ready for battle. "I knew it! The true porpoise of your plan!"

Jade startled and looked up at her with legitimate confusion. "Calm down! What is your problem? I'm just looking at... whatever it is I'm looking at here." Jade crouched down as Feferi relaxed some. What was she even concerned about in regards to this human. "What is the little wiggly thing?"

Feferi scoffed. "It's not little! What do you mean little? It's just not... out!" The tips of her ears began to tint fuchsia.

"Oh. So it's like... sheathed. I thought it might have been. I don't know. Like a clitoris. Or a lure. Is this even..." Jade rudely motioned at Feferi's crotch. "For sex or breeding? I don't want to presume. It could be a mouth or..."

"It's not a mouth! You see my mouth! I bit you! Oh my cod. Ohhhh my cod." Feferi was flabbergasted. She was too bewildered to even be offended. "I'm not explaining my reproductive system to you. Just... look." Feferi reached down and spread the slit some, exposing the pink interior flesh inside. Jade was reminded of what she would imagine strange alien sushi might possibly look like. "This is where eggs produced come from." Feferi sighed and moved her fingers upward and started to coax out the strange protrusion. It pushed forward a bit but not much, causing her to become even more pink in the face. "Hold on. It's taking me... a minute here."

Jade choked back a laugh and grinned. "Don't worry. It happens to everyone."

"What?" Feferi scowled. "You don't even... know everyone! Ugh. You are such a pain!"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Can I try?"

"What?"

"Let me do it."

"I can do it!"

"Really? Because so far..."

Feferi shot her a hateful glare. "Tell me why I shouldn't just krill you."

"Because I'm already dead, fuckass."

"Maybe you'll end up double dead!"

"Or not. Just let me try. I'm hoping to move to the afterlife sometime soon, so I'd like to at least see your weird junk before I go. Do you want me to think of it as looking like that?"

"It is not j—" She threw her arms upward in frustration. "You know. Go for it, human."

Jade smirked a little bucktoothed smirk and reached forward, stroking the underside of the weird bulge with a fingertip. Smooth and almost slimy. It had give but still a firmness. Sure enough, more began to emerge. "See?"

Feferi huffed as her traitorous genitalia betrayed her. As more emerged, the human undoubtedly regretted calling it small. The tip was merely that, a tip. And the more she teased and then petted and then stroked, the more made itself known. Until a rather thick pink tentacle was gently coiling and uncoiling, writhing and flexing against her fingers and palm.

When it seemed fully emerged the base was about as big around as a soda can and it tapered narrower from there, maybe a good eight inches in length. In all honesty, it reminded Jade of her tentacle toy, only alive and without the suction cups along the bottom. Bad Dragon may deliver to obscure islands in the Pacific, but they paled in comparison to the real thing. "Oh my god."

Feferi crossed her arms under her bust and smirked. "Oh my cod is right! I told you it wasn't small! I bet you're eeling pretty dumb now, huh? Hey. Uh. It's out. You can stop touching it now." Feferi squirmed a bit but made no effort to get away from the human.

Jade looked up at Feferi, still shocked and now blushing as much as she was if not more. "Yeah. But can I not?"

"Wh...what?"

"Yeah. Okay, so hear me out. We're both going to be stuck here, maybe for a while. And I am... really liking what I'm seeing here. In fact, this is pretty much the first thing about you that I have liked, given that you are a terrifying, stuck up, rude fish creature. So how about we enjoy each other's company since we've apparently found a way to do so."

Feferi was offended by that. For a second. Until she realized the human had a point. Touching her fertilization tube was the first good thing she had done since their terrible meeting. "Okay. Yes. Why not, human."

"Jade."

"Okay then, Jade. Show me your strange alien sex customs!"

Jade gave her a look that said 'god, you are the worst' and said, "God, you are the worst," before leaning in, grasping the middle of the tentacle gently with her hand and dragging her tongue along the underside of the tip. It tasted of salt and a mix of flavors that her taste buds didn't have words for. But if they had to try and find a descriptor, 'not at all unpleasant' fit the bill well enough, followed by 'appealing in a weird way.' The novelty of orally pleasing an alien certainly added to the positivity of the situation.

And pleased Feferi was, letting out a pleasured little moan—the first thing out of her mouth that wasn't snark or an insult, really. She slipped a hand down to Jade's head and ran her sharp-tipped fingers through the wild mess of dark hair swaying from her head like luxurious seaweed.

Jade smirked further and looked up at her newfound tolerable acquaintance as she swirled her tongue around the tip, teasing a small opening just behind the end. The continued sounds were encouraging and she began to take it between her lips as it pressed against and met the curvature of her tongue. Jade slipped her free hand to the apparent egg slit and slid two fingers just inside.

Feferi let out an appropriately inhuman noise, a surprised squawk. "Whoa whoa! Hey! What are you doing? That is not... what that is... for!" She grabbed a fistful of hair and let out a louder moan. Then questioned why exactly it wasn't for that, because this seemed like a much better purpose than egg laying.

Jade stopped briefly, until it was clear enough Feferi did not want her to stop, given the little tug to her hair. She sunk her digits in a bit more before adding in a third, sliding out and in, exploring different spots and seeing where seemed to work best. She watched as wisps of fuchsia seeped from the opening, dissipating quickly in the ocean, and figured she was doing something right.

Feferi's tentacle agreed that things were being done right, leaking a bit of a similar fluid as Jade worked her deeper into her mouth, until those rather blunt human teeth couldn't help but graze her thick firmness, about halfway down the length. Feferi groaned, the tentacle going from a slow dance against Jade's tongue to a more erratic writhing.

Jade knew she was doing well, assuming Feferi had an odd way of vocalizing dislike, and gripped the base firmer in an attempt to keep things steady as she bobbed her head on and off of those few inches.

"Oh fuck. Oh. Oh, Jade!" Feferi's other hand went through her own hair, a jelly bracelet catching on a horn and snapping off before beginning a voyage to the surface. Her tentacle swelled just slightly and grew more rigid, and this was it.

Jade knew it was it, or at the very least she guessed. And despite being of a scientific mind, she was not brave enough to stick around for whatever was about to happen, pushing back against Feferi's hand and pulling off of the organ, her hand picking up the slack with an eager stroke.

"Shitshitshit! No no no water you doing! Oh cod yes!" And Feferi hit climax, her tentacle pumping out jet after jet of bright pink genetic material, erupting point blank into a pink cloud in the water right in Jade's face.

She yelped, bordering on a scream, and... well, that was about it. There was nothing else to do. "What is this? What's going on? Oh god it's everywhere! It's everywhere! Fuck! Oh, fuck! It's in my hair! It's all over! Oh my god!"

Feferi wheezed and choked as Jade did, but for entirely different reasons, exploding into laughter while already at a loss of breath. Her chest hurt. Her face hurt. She began to lift from the sand as her buoyancy globes took in air and released them. Her breath and her laugh were both ragged and she howled out. "You jackbass! What were you even expecting to hapfin?"

Jade sputtered and coughed and glared up at Feferi. She was covered in pink flecks and strands. It looked like she'd gotten inked by a Squiddle. "Warning would have been nice!" She slapped the still twitching member.

"Aah! Don't do that! I didn't know you were going to pull off, doofus! What do you think happens when liquid hits liquid? Are all humans this dense?"

Jade sulked and tried to comb the pink from her hair with her fingers. "Shut up. God, that sucked. Ugh. I feel sticky."

"Yeah. And you look shellarious too." Feferi let out a guffaw. "Okay. Okay. I am not fashellitating tolerable reelations here. Let me make it up to you. Can I do anything to your human egg chute?"

"My... it's not... actually, yeah, okay. Kind of. You know what? Sure. I deserve it. Let's do that." Jade tried not to grumble, wiping her face with her hand and taking off her glasses, looking for something to clean them with... the world having been entirely too rose-tinted, and not even in a good way, before dropping them out of existence and willing them good as new back onto her face. She climb-swam up onto the rock Feferi was previously sitting on and undid her top before laying on her back.

Feferi stared at the human with her brown skin and weird, dark hair on her crotch (and her legs, now that Feferi was looking) and strange lips like some kind of flesh oyster. Maybe a mussel. Some manner of bivalve. She slipped between her legs and slid a hand up her thigh...

Jade bolted upright and reached down, grabbing Feferi's wrist with a look of panic in her eyes. "Noooooo! Nope nope nope god no hell no not happening!"

"What!"

"Look at your fucking claws! You're going to rip me to pieces!" Jade held the hand up and waggled it for emphasis.

Feferi sighed. "Yes. Okay. Then what do I do, since you're oh so smart about sex?" The sarcasm oozed.

Jade gave her best 'are you dense' look and pointed at her own mouth. "Uh?"

Feferi glared and pointed at her softening tentacle, then at Jade's lack of one. "Uh!?"

Jade rolled her eyes so hard it made her a bit dizzy and stuck out her tongue. "Guh?" Which was supposed to be an uh, but her tongue was out.

"And that means what, exactly?"

Jade sighed. "Use your tongue... squidiot." The air quotes were busted out.

"Yeah. Obviously." Feferi rolled her eyes and leaned forward, sticking out her tongue, a darker gray with a tint of pink, and licked along the outside of Jade's lips, just lapping at them.

Frustrated, Jade reached down and spread them for her sexual partner.

Feferi huffed and slipped the tongue inside, which given every other weird thing about this liaison, felt pretty mundane to Jade. But a decent mundane as Feferi prodded and explored.

Jade mmmed and sighed and nibbled a little on her bottom lip. But it wasn't quite doing it for her. "Go up a little. Little more. See that... uh. Like a little flesh bump. Nub? Yeah. There. Lick at tha-aaaaah...t. There we go." Jade sighed a better sigh as Feferi circled and flicked, building up a rhythm and repeating whichever motions made Jade twitch. Jade slid her hand up from spreading herself to go through Feferi's hair now, hand finding a horn and gripping on to it.

Feferi blushed and kept at it, working Jade's... this would probably be a clitoris if previous conversation and context clues were anything to go by, taking breaks to plunge into her sex again and again, tasting Jade's salty-sweet weird alien flavor. She held Jade's legs apart with her hands, nails digging into the toned, muscled flesh as Jade tensed and bucked, the happy sighs turning into much more pleased moans. Down below, Feferi's tentacle stirred once more to life.

Jade's twitches became more intense before she grabbed that horn tighter and yanked Feferi more into her crotch, sharp teeth grazing her inner thigh and labia briefly and dangerously as she bucked to meet her, mashing a bit against her face as she hissed through her teeth, building up into a moan like a teapot whistle.

Feferi was confused as Jade's hand shakily left the horn. She was pretty sure she did well. She was certain. Jade looked how she felt when Jade had finished on her. Feferi licked the human wetness from around her mouth. "There."

"Nnn..." Jade sighed, twitching a few more times. "There. Mmhmm."

Feferi stared. Now what? Were they done? They felt done.

"Fuck. I needed that. You are definitely way more tolerable now." Jade sat up shakily and poofed her clothing back on. Being dead had a couple perks, maybe.

"I am better than tolerable. You shoald be honored."

Jade rubbed her temples. "Don't start. I'm not ready for round two yet. So don't irritate me." She sighed, then perked up. "Can you show me Googleblob?"

"Gl'bgolyb! And why?"

"Curiosity! Science! But you have to not feed my ghost to him."

"No! You are not even close to being worthy of seeing Them!"

Jade smirked. "Okay, but if you let me... I will let you put that..." Jade pointed at Feferi's still exposed tentacle, "in here." It was obvious where Jade pointed next.

"You... do that? That's a thing?"

"Yep!" Jade beamed.

Feferi stared, tentabulge twitching. "Yeah. It's a long swim though. Especially with how slow you probably are."

"Whatever. If you get too bad I'll just go down on you again."

"Go... down?" But Jade had already began swimming. Feferi yelled after her as she freed her swimsuit. "You're not even going the right way!"


End file.
